So, there I was. Summer 2025 and back on a bloody dating site. I use the word “dating” very loosely, as most of the men on there don’t actually seem to want to meet up, let alone go on a proper date.
Against my better judgment – especially after the last experience – I started speaking to a guy and we jumped into a relationship fairly quickly. On paper, he seemed to have his shit together. He owned his house, seemed financially okay, and his kids were older. I thought, perfect. I wouldn’t have to worry about balancing my own life and older kids with “mothering” someone else’s younger children. That might sound selfish to some, but I’ve done my time. I’ve worked hard for my independence and I wasn’t looking to give it up to be an unpaid nanny.
Physically, I wasn’t 100% sure I was attracted to him. He was okay, and he seemed to enjoy the same things I did and shared similar values… or so I thought.
I made an effort, but it soon became clear that he was incredibly lazy in terms of cultivating the relationship in the physical department. He had that “old-fashioned” mindset where the woman is expected to please the man and the woman’s needs are not important. Furthermore, I don’t tolerate outdated opinions, and some of his were very much in the 1950s scope. I’m the first to call out racism, homophobia, or any kind of bullying – and I could sense a streak of sexism in him that I just couldn’t stomach.
The ‘ick’ set in fast. He became way too familiar, way too soon. I’m talking farting in bed and leaving ‘skidders’ in the toilet without a second thought. It wasn’t a turn-on; it was a total lack of respect for my space and my dignity. This was only after a few weeks – no honeymoon period? I mean, honestly. My future flashed before my eyes! If this was what it was like this early on, then God knows what was next. On top of that, I realised his ‘interests’ were just him piggybacking off mine; it didn’t feel authentic. He was materialistic in a way that really grated on me. After a weekend away, I knew I couldn’t do another day of it.
I decided to do the “respectful” thing and break up with him in person, even though he’d shown me zero respect with his habits. I told him I just didn’t feel a romantic connection.
His response? He actually said that, “in his defence,” when we were away, he was “expecting” me to ask him to leave the room so I could get “dressed up” for him.
The audacity. He honestly expected me to put in the work to please him, all while he was stomping around farting, naked like a neanderthal (sorry, but his being started to make me recoil – harsh but true), leaving the toilet door open, and behaving like that in bed. Why on earth would I want to make an effort for someone who made me feel so unspecial?
I didn’t rise to the bait. I just told him I didn’t feel any reciprocal attention, and that was that. The second failed dating experience of the year, done and dusted.