I woke up today and my ankle feels even worse. It’s so frustrating. I’m stuck here and I can’t even go for a walk to clear my head, which is usually the only thing that actually helps when I’m this stressed. I feel trapped.
My cat has been weirdly cuddly and sweet lately, though. Usually, she’s such a “hissy missy,” but she’s been staying close. I’m sure she can tell I’m not right. It’s like she knows I’m struggling even though I’m not saying anything.
The stuff with my friend is still making me feel so raw. I’ve just got this heavy feeling that no one really has my back or understands me. It’s lonely. It feels like I’m on my own with it all.
Work is just the icing on the cake. I’m so sick of picking up everyone else’s slack. I keep getting landed with jobs that aren’t even my responsibility, and they’re always a total mess by the time they get to me. Then I’m the one who feels bad if they aren’t fixed! It’s the same old story lately, whether it’s my personal life or work: nobody takes responsibility for their own mistakes, and I’m the one left picking up the pieces.
I actually cried in front of my boss today and I’m so annoyed at myself for it. I’m angry that I let it get to me like that. I wish I could just let things go and not care so much, but I always try to do things properly and it feels like everything is working against me. I feel like a total mug. It feels like people just walk all over me because they know I’ll handle it.
However, as if my wallowing could be heard from afar, another friend messaged. She knows a bit about what’s going on with my ex and the drama with the other friend, and she offered to let me vent to her later. Honestly, that bit of kindness nearly set me off again. When you feel like you’re completely on your own, it’s such a relief to know someone actually cares enough to listen.